In my background, I was taught that pleasure was simply devious. I used to be too shy to express what I wanted, much less what I needed. I wasn’t in touch with my sensuality, partly because of that. But how could anything that gives you gratification be wrong, though? Satisfaction is literally in the definition. So the last 5 years, I’ve been researching and exploring BDSM.
I learned more about communication, building a genuine connection, trust, and healing from this concept than I had in years of counseling, being an observer of human behavior, and failed relationships. I didn’t want more of the same. Something had to change. I dug deep into an examination of myself. Because I made mistakes. I fell prey to cliche situations even though I thought I was smarter than that. Obviously, I didn’t entirely trust myself, or I wouldn’t have gone against my better instincts. If there had been a collective place for me to get some basics and advice, that would have really helped my romantic life.
So I researched vanilla and fetish dating websites. And there is, ah, plenty of fish in the sea without the know-how. Nobody seemed to be offering advice or counsel. I was a dungeon member for a few years, and they provided different classes. But not every dungeon is a teaching dungeon or a safe space. BDSM taught me that intimacy is a gift for one to delve into with yourself first and then with a partner. I just want to pass along the knowledge, experience, and advice to help in your growth. If I can further anyone’s journey into being smoother or better than mine. I am game. I am putting purpose to my journey.
This site in done in the spirit of BDSM. Please educate yourself before you practice. Your local dungeon should give classes. If those resources are not available there are some reputable YouTube resources that are wealths of information. Everything is acceptable in a consent positive environment. Find someone to do Ageplay, pet play, new kinksters, vanillas and people living the lifestyle. Nothing is oﬀ the table as long as it is negotiated and respected. We suggest doing as much self-reﬂection as possible. It may be helpful or useful to take a personality test and ﬁnd out what your personality type is. Along with taking a BDSM style test to give insight to what you are into or possibly open to. Those are not absolute tools or completely correct all of the time but hopefully gives you a little bit of a direction to go in.
Having the Talk
Before a scene or potential relationship negotiations have begun, discussing what’s comfortable in your current relationship/s is vital. If you are unfulfilled or seeking a more fulfilling experience please sit down with the current parties involved. Maybe make sure your future partners are aware of your desires. If this is the gps location of your relationship, we suggest that you let your partner know how important they are to you. What you feel you are missing in your life or the bedroom. And communicate how that might be beneficial to all of you. Ask consent, be kind, and do not rush their collective decision. See what you can negotiate to make everyone comfortable. Most importantly respect it. Seek talking to an outside party or professional if necessary. And when you are ready to play come this way.
There is a open door forum so you can speak about your experiences. Inspire Us!
If you let us know a little bit about you, we can connect via email to brainstorm some creative opportunities as well as share dialogue of our experiences.